How Will You Be Remembered?

This is the complied list I had asked for on September 21, shortly after my beloved's passing, about what one word would you use to describe and remember Amy Krambeck Campbell. It is absolutely incredible how many lives one person could touch in such a short period of time, many of which she did from the couch or bed of our home. I would not say that she necessarily did it in comfort, but I would without a shadow of a doubt say she did it with the utmost and deepest love of all, Agape love. Agape love is a love that is only obtainable by a deep and meaningful relationship with God the Father, Christ Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit. It is full dependence and reliance upon His Spirit and strength that allows one to see and love as Amy did.

So after reading this post, my prayer is that you will take a moment and examine your life, your heart, the way you live. However, do not use your feelings or understanding or standards, but God's. Let Him show you his Agape love. Let Him give you a peace that surpasses all understanding, and above all, let Him give you His grace. His grace to forgive the things that really don't matter in this life, His grace to become reconciled to Him and to those you love. His grace to love the life He gives you each day, and to live it to your fullest potential, and for His glory.

Today is that day to make these changes, and begin by asking yourself, when your time comes, how will you be remembered? I miss you and love you for eternity baby!!!

Psalm 118:24 - This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!!

September 21st, 2010 - One of the first posts I made on FaceBook after Amy's passing

I am looking for EVERYONE'S input on one word that they feel described Amy Krambeck Campbell for I am just learning from many of you and have a bunch of new friends. Please reply back with your name and your word as this is going in her memorial book for me (us). Thank you all so very much for allowing her (us) to be a part of your lives!!!

Shawn Campbell -  The word I used to describe my wife - AMAZING!!!!

Rebecca Gill -  Compassionate!!

Susan Schotsch Warburton - determined

Mandy Ray Jones - bold

Juan Camargo - One word? Geeze.... that's kinda hard. Love

Dorothy Gibson (Aunt Dorothy) - Godly

Luella Long Lu - dedicated

Shelly Harmon Beebe - Glee :-)

Ben Stallman - devoted

Darren Reames - one word things are hard.. there's LIFE, there's Godly, there's friend... but I'll go with Rebecca, COMPASSIONATE about those she loved and called friends and also about the things she cared about

Lauren Ashley Lauren- Loving :)

Becky Molloy - Saint

Brooke Freeman Pettigrew - determined and warm (i know that's two, sorry.)

Ericka Luidhardt - Life

Rafe Spraker - My "Sola" Friend

Rik Gracia - Gentle

Nikki Galagher - caring

Shane Black Infoulable-preppy

Jessica Jones Stallman -  BEST-friend. It's 2 words but I can't just say friend. She was my BEST friend. So when you write it, throw in a hyphen or sumpin... Love you bruh

Leah Hatmaker - Beautiful there are so many words

Lynnie Keith-Wenneson - angel dove, such a beautiful spirit and always putting others first

Beth Delaney -  Inspirational! Accepting! Compassionate! (I could keep going here, but I'm sure that I've exceeded my one word to describe Amy limit!)

Connie Stallings - Amy and i went to elementary school together she was the most "selfless" person I have ever known.

Fran Scarborough - Honest...

Dream a dream

This poem is a piece one of my cousins in Wisconsin (who is more like a big sister really) wrote to bring me peace and comfort shortly after Amy's passing.

Dream a dream of hearts combined
of one with wings that’s so divine.
Dream a dream of love so right ,
of one that waits in heavens light.
Dream of dreams of days gone by,
remembering each tear you cry.
Dream dreams of the one you love,
for it is sent to heaven above.

My cousin had only met Amy one time, but this poem was so fitting for Amy. Amy dared to dream a dream, that some day true love she would find. Her heart desired love like that of the Victorian era. Amy also dreamed the dreams of love that some of which became reality in our marriage. I will say this, as I have before, and will some day again. I took that for granted, like one or both of us was promised a tomorrow, and missed fulfilling many other dreams. Please, take the time in this life while you can, to make amends, to find the true love that you dream a dream of, then thank God for your life and allowing Amy to be a part of your dreams of divine love. I miss you my angel baby!!!

A Day in the Life of Amy (and other IH patients)

This is one of my favorite pictures of Amy. It says A LOT about her really. 1) This picture was taken at one of her favorite places, Oakland's Mansion in Murfreesboro, TN. 2) Amy loved black and white photographs. 3) This was one of Amy's favorite trees, she has even taken pictures of our girls in the same place. 4) Most importantly, this is one of the few time I have seen Amy at such peace. It is not that I do not appreciate all of the other pictures of her as she is the most beautiful woman I have EVER met, had a million dollar smile, eyes that pierced your very soul when she spoke to and of you, I could go on and on. This is how I would picture Amy right now, resting in peace up in heaven, anxiously awaiting for the rest of the saints to be reunited, and smiling down on the lives that she touched and see the seeds that she planted in our hearts bloom.

I do not mean any disrespect in any way to anyone, but I would like to take a moment to share a private and intimate piece of Amy's life. Many of the current followers of her blog are or may be care givers of Intra-Cranial Hypertension (IH) patients, but there are some who are not. So this morning will be just a small glimpse of what her days were like. I am not going to post it exactly day by day, but just give you an idea of what Amy and others with IH go through daily. Again, I apologize if I have offended anyone, but Amy did not want people to worry about her so much, and did not want special treatment or pity because of this horrible illness. Please continue to pray for those who continue to fight this illness, and there is a non-profit organization that continues research for IH - IH Foundation Your contributions are tax deductible, and if you so choose, you can also give in memory of Amy and they will send you a card back as a keepsake if you wish. Blessings on your day, and baby, I am sorry if your didn't want people to know, but it helps us understand you and this illness better. I do it in respect, love, and I miss you dearly!!!

A piece from Amy's diary 2009 -

I have been waking up many times during the night for the past few days and having to clean the fluid (excess spinal fluid pushing out her ears due to high head pressure). My head throbs and I get dizzy. I stay tired because I cannot get a good nights sleep. A couple of days after this, it was a difficult night because I woke up in pain from a kidney stone that is sometimes the side effect of taking topamax. The following month I caught the flu which is not good, as I cannot take many of the medications that others can take to get rid of it due to my IH or blood clotting disorder. There is also a risk that if the infection spreads, it could infect any part of my shunt, which would mean another surgery. (Praise God that did not happen!!!)

This is just a small part of her daily routine, and others who face IH. Again, I am writing this from the point of educating others and praying for a cure from this dreaded illness. I was blessed to be a part of Amy's life and to be her caregiver, I know that we were both frustrated many times because of the illness, but we loved each other like no other. I miss you baby!!!

I'm Fine.....

I'm fine... One of my favorite short quotes from one of Amy's (and mine) top 10 movies. The truth is that I am not fine really, but doing as well as can be expected at this point. Watching Elizabethtown is actually quite therapeutic, for anyone really. At Amy's funeral I asked everyone to think for a moment of one word that described Amy (of course this is very difficult task), and I used the word amazing. Amy was also a very picturesque person. She loved to take photographs of lots of different subjects and then usually put them in scrapbooks to some of her favorite poetry, some of which she originally wrote. That is how she would remember the parts of her life, and that is why the movie Elizabethtown relates so much to her life.

I also say this with the utmost respect, but Amy too would always say "I'm fine" when she really was not, so it was difficult at times to find out really what her condition was. Amy was always concerned about her other friends that had similar conditions to her's and would pray with them and offer words of encouragement or advise, especially to those who were starting to go through the multiple surgery stage and becoming frustrated. God blessed Amy with words and grace in this area beyond measure. Amy used to cry herself to sleep sometimes asking "God, why do I have to keep doing this?" and she realized that there were those who needed her. Amy planted "seeds" in others, trained them if you will, on how to be encouraging, tough, and to not let IH beat her or anyone else. IH did not beat my girl, but an untimely blood clot did, and to that you never know when that can happen, especially when you have a blood clotting disorder.

Amy wanted to meet my family in Wisconsin, and last year we had the opportunity to go. It was absolutely miserable for Amy (the drive that is), but she was such a trooper. As if that was not bad enough, she went to two of my favorite places to be back home, Granddad's Bluff, and up to my cousins along the river. She had bad headaches the whole time, and rested a lot, but it was important to her that we make that trip and that she meet my family. On the way there and on the way back, Amy even took pictures of the actual Elizabethtown interstate signs and that made her happy (except my driving, sorry again baby). 

So if you want to see how Amy coped at times and viewed life, buy (which I HIGHLY recommend) or rent Elizabethtown and have a date night, have friends over to celebrate life, and remember Amy each time. If you want an added extra bonus, Amy said (which we did) you have to watch it with closed captioning turned on. I cannot tell you why, you just have to do it and see. Also a warning here, there are a few pieces of language in here, but not too rough, and I think the F word is used once, so beware not to have the little ones around. God bless, and I miss you more and more each day baby. Some day soon the saints will see you again in all your radiant glory and no more pressure or pain.

The World's Most Beautiful

Remember that song way back when... "Hey, have you happened to see the most beautiful girl in the world?" That song was written by Charlie Rich 6 years before Amy was even born, how could he have known? That was Amy, B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!! both inside and out, and I always told her that. I have never seen or known a person with such a heart or passion, who loved so many people across so many different ministries. Today is another one of the first poems I sent to her in the early days. Enjoy, and God bless. I miss you baby!!

The World's Most Beautiful

I'd give anything to see the sun set on the horizon,
I'd do anything to gaze at a full moon in the night sky;
Even a rainbow would make me smile,
And I'd love to swim in crystal clear waters
Of an untouched sea;
Sometimes I'll see a shooting star,
And try to gaze from afar,
All the diamonds in the night sky;
The mist on the mountains is breathtaking,
As is walking in rainforest;
To see cascading waterfalls I'd do anything for,
As to stand on the highest peak in the world,
And look at the sights below;
I'd love to soar on wings above the clouds,
Across the bluest skies;
I'd do anything to see
All the beautiful things in the world,
Like a red rose blooming in the Sahara,
Like a river twisting through a dusty land,
All the beautiful things in the world;

But I also know I am looking at
The world's most beautiful creation,
Every time you smile,
And every time I look into your eyes.

- Muhammad Edwan Shaharir - 

Then There's That Moment When...

Have you ever had that moment when you felt like the bug that hits the windshield or the deer in the headlights at the last moment, well that's how I feel today. The impact has finally started and I am just being honest. This blog is about Amy, but it is also about us (her, me, her family, everything that she meant to everyone). Please continue to lift up our families in prayer as many are just now starting to feel the impact as have I. God bless

If There's...

If there's one face I want to see,
so beautiful, so true,
one smile that makes a difference,
to everything I do.

If there's one touch I long to feel,
one voice I long to hear,
whenever I am happy,
or just needing someone near.

If there's one joy, one love,
from which I never want to part,
it's you, my very special love,
my world, my life, my heart.

Amy's Dove Chocolates Saying of the Day - 10/5/10

Houston, we have a problem!!! There will only be two chocolate sayings for the day instead of three, we have officially ran out of Dove chocolates (I know, OH NOOOO!!). I guess she will just have to settle for a BIG kiss from her DOC :o)

I am not sure if I will continue down this playful path with my baby, or if I shall switch to poetry and some of her favorite pieces of scriptures and other readings. Either way, please be sure to stop by frequently to help keep her memory alive. If someone else would like to share some stories, please feel free to get in touch with me. This is a place for all of us to share my baby, the love of my life, and to get each other through this necessary process of grieving so we can be healed by the Amazing Grace of God.

Amy's Dove Chocolates Saying of the Day - 10/5/10

1) How perfect a day can be when you think positively
2) Embrace change it may be a blessing in disguise